GGgrrrrr..

Ladies and Gents,

I hate being Neural knifed. Koma did it to me again. Bad enough this whole mess is his fault. I am so going to sleep with his next girlfriend.

Every time I get Neural knifed, I act like a "goofy little bastard".

Let recap: Koma leaves me, 2 years in the future.

Lets his "Metal Mama"


throw me at a friggin' sea monster.

Now I find out this calamity is his doing.

I wake up in the cell alone. It take a few hours to get my head together. I look around in my stark white cell. I toss the bed at the cell bars. That cause the mattress to spark and catch fire, which I stomp out.

Ok, I don't think I will be busting my way out. I pace back and forth in the cell. Maybe I can pound the walls, they don't seem to be electrified. I give the old college try, a straight hand should do it.

Bam...

...

...


Ow.

Great, the walls are lined with a super strong metal. Wow, this sucks. I am stuck in a cell that smell like a burnt mattress, because there is a burnt mattress. Hmmmm...Maybe, I could do the "old start a fire to get out the cell trick".

I throw the mattress at the bar again and the flames start.



Smoke fills the cell. I begin to cough. No one is showing up...

Oh man, not good.

I hate OZ.

Dental for All.

Dr. Polaris rules.

Can't we still be friends...

Ladies and Gents...

To get to the end, you still need to go through the middle. Koma and I are trapped 2year in a future at the Mawson Station(That's in Antarctica, look at a a map once and awhile).

Joy...

Hopefully, my LMD is up and running in my place. I don't want to lose my union parking spot.

So, Koma's would be father in law, tells us 2 years have passed and the wonderful nation of OZ has been taken over. Two years...I take a moment to think. Wow, that means I missed; the end of ER and my date with PowerGirl.

(Great, she might of slept with Nightwing by now...Ewww..)

At this point. I am really PO'ed at Koma.

The Major brings us in, one by one to debrief.




"Henchman 432 or Guy Abrams, which do you prefer to be called..?" He asks.

"Henchman is fine." I slowly sit and put my hand on each other,lightly brushing my new wristcom, turning it on. I scan the room with my eyes. There are two guards by the door and female in the corner.



"Do you think Mr. Henchman would like anything, sir?" She asks.

"Annabell, would like to know if you want anything Henchman?" The Major says with a smirk.

I put my face in my hand and laugh. Geeze, all that is missing is the bond music. "Look, what I would like, is to be home. I am a frickin' American. Oz can deal with it's own issues."

The Major stops and takes a good long stare at me."That's just what I wanted to hear son. I can make that happen. I,in turn need something from you."

"Koma? Because, that is going to cost you and not any of that fake Australian money. I want Gold, lots of it." I inform them

"Well,you get right to the point don't you. I like that. You served, didn't you. Annabell, make sure Henchman gets what he wants. She will handle the finer points." The guy who looks like Sam Neil walks out into the hall, his guards follow.

Annabell sits in the across from me, putting on her lipstick. "So what else do you want?"

Dental for all.

Dr. Polaris rules.

Helping out Koma.

Ladies and Gents,

Koma is in trouble. He got double crossed by one of his labrats at Spearhead. I figured this would happen, it almost always does.Kinda of like a bad plontline... Anyway, He thought it would be a good idea to have me come on the mission as secret backup, I give him a plus 1 for that.

I wake up from the stasis tube. It's been three weeks. The mission as gone to pot.Not good. As I walk to Koma's quaters to read his lastest logs, I see the ship is not holding up so well. I have a bad feeling about this and hightail to an escape pod,while in the pod, I ask for a rundown of the mission from the ship.

I make a call to the second in command. I get Koma's lastest philly. "Hello, this is Henchman432. I need an upated on the operation. Lastest intel and full disclosure."

"Oh no, you are not taking over this operation." Chroma shouts out.



Henchman432:"Listen honey, I am not here for you. I am here for Koma."

Chroma:"All I can see is this ending in a lot of violence.I don't know how he trusts you."

"Because, I get the job done,Sweetcheeks. I am not taking over. I am going to need a lot of help on this. I think a two prong attack will do the job. You muster as many fighters as you can." I shout out as I am entering the atmosphere.

I land, more like I crash. Miles away from where I need to be.




Just my luck. I place my face in my hand and sigh. I am in the middle of the desert, I need to use the bathroom and I am thristy. I don't think there is a gas station anywhere near me.

I get on the modifed wrist comm I stole for Jon(Haw haw sucker). I ask Chroma and her crew of fail, to give me the layout of the castle,where Koma is being held. They give a 3D map of the structure. It look as I will have to go through the sewer.



(Why is it always the sewer. Why not the air ducts...or the harem.Conan gets to go through the harem.)

I make my way through the desert on a horse with no name. He drops dead as I reach the castle.

I drudge through the sewer for a half and hour. the stench is killing me(The only time I smelled something worst was,when I went to the a Bears game). Finally, I see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am near Koma's cell. There are no guards. I find it a little strange.I creep slowly,if this goes well, I can get Koma out of here.

I kick the door down. That was a bad idea. I see twenty armed guards and Ayris facing me.

"I thought the woman would come here sneaking on her belly for this trash."Pointing to Koma,Ayris says.

"Sorry,sunshine. I am all you got." I remark.

The guards go to charge me and the castle shakes. Chroma and her troops came just in time with the frontal assault(thank goodness). The guards are taking out. I go to open Koma's cell and Ayris tosses me from behind.I look up and see him with almost no clothes on.



"I hate to brake this to you,buttercup,but I don't like guys."I infrom him.

To be continued in Koma's blog.

Dental for all.

MODOK sucks.

Tagged by Hot wheels.

Ladies and Gents,

I was hoping, if I do a quarterly posting and maybe a judging on a game show. Everyone would leave me to my nachos and 360. No such luck, Hot Wheels (Aka Baldy) meme'ed me.

I am going to steal his next girlfriend. That should teach him. Haw haw.

Anyway,I was working on my fortieth hour on Crackdown to get a ten point achievement(sweet). When the thing breaks down and this weird thing pops out.



"What the hell?" I scream. Great my console just died for the third time. Geeze, I send this thing back more, than Brit goes to court.

While I have a strange object in the middle of my room. I do the most sensible thing.I find a sharp stick and begin to poke it.

"Hey" It shouts and changes form.




"Who the hell are you." I question.

It replies."I am a eye genie. I shall grant you two wishes."

"Two wishes? No more no less..." I ask, the strangle little thing.

"Yup" That's all you get. geneye tells me.

"Ok, chief. I want some payback. Baldy it going to get it this time.I heard that Storm gave him a brand new kitten. Take care of it."

"Like, give a nice home or something..." The geneye ponders.

"How can I put this, no." I, then whisper to it,what I want done.



"Granted". It says. "Wow, you are not a nice guy are you..."

"No." I start to think to myself. what else do I want..."Ok, punk. I want a world where anything cool never breaks down. No TVs, game consoles,laptops or anything like that."

"Done."

I turn around and see this...



"What the hell." I ask.

"Well, for something to never breakdown. It needs to cost a lot of money. So only the really rich can have nice things." It informs me.

"So the whole planet is now like Brazil?" I query.

"Yup, That is the case." The eyeball thingy says.

"Wild, say do you want to loot the biggest house around?" I inquire.

"Do I?" It says with joy.

Half and hour later. We are heading over to the nearest pawnshop.

Goodtimes.

I tag Tak and Bennet.

Dental for all.

M.O.D.O.K. sucks.

Koma's game.

Ladies and Gents,

Koma has a new game show Who Wants to be a Super villain. I, myself am a Judging. So Far we are getting a good cast.

May we have a wonderful game full of fun and blood.

Dental fo all

M.O.D.O.K. sucks.

Henchy's guide to fighting dirty.

Ladies and Gents,

Today, I will give you. Henchy's guide to fighting dirty. This is something every bad guy needs to know.


The Classic Eye Poke; Start with you hands in the air, pretending to give up, when the hero close to you. Bam, right in the eyes. Usually, he will drop his weapon and turn away from you, take this time to put a hurting on him.





A Shot To the Little Boys; This is hard to do when fighting head on. Heroes are going to expect this. This is way you should always use a fake. My favorite way to distract him, is the "Shoot him now" line.(Note: This does not work on women).













The Kick Him/Her When They Are Down; Out of all the dirty fighting tricks, this will feel like winning the World Series. Lets say you have the hero on the floor. Wait until they start to give you "The Speech"(about, how you will never win, blah, blah,blah) and kick them as hard as you can in the breadbasket. This will knock the air out of them and shut them up.






Shin Kick ; Fake like you are going kick him/her in the little boys and change direction for the shins. The shin kick will catch them buy surprise.(Note:this does work on women).














The Sucker Punch; Sucker punching someone is the lifeblood of fighting dirty. This will start a fight and hopefully end it. The hero, you are fighting maybe faster/stronger/better trained. The sucker punch can give you the advantage. Always wait for the moment. Never charge ahead, screaming you lungs out. I once put Hawkeye down for the count, by waiting for him to turn the corner.


If you would like to learn more. Please contact the your Local Henchman Union, or visit our website at www.United Henchmen.org ( we are a non for profit, for profit union).

Dental for All.

M.O.D.O.K. sucks.

And a Tag, has brought me back.

Ladies and Gents,

Tak is back(JOY!) and he has tagged me witha Meme(Grrr...). I will make you pay Tak. I was living the easy life. Playing Xbox 360 and eating Nachos(Best way to waste a day ever,well almost). Ok here it goes.There are rules to the Meme.

1. You have to post these rules before you give the facts.

2. You must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of your middle name. If you don’t have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had.

3. At the end of your blog post, you need to choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

Well, this is kind of hard, because my working name is Henchman 432. However, almost everyone knows my civilian name, Guy Abrams. So I'll use my first name.

G; Guts,I have that in spades. I am a dude with fortitude. I mixed it up with big dogs, like Veg head and the Hulk.That is if I am cornered. The smart thing to do when you face these guys is to run.

U; Unique, I will never claim to be the best super villian out there. I am a Henchman, I just happen to be the best henchman there is. I don't mind taking a few in the face from a "Hero" to make sure my boss gets away.

Y; Yap dogs, I hate them. I also,can't stand the women that carry them around in a bag. It's a Dog, it has legs. I am pretty sure it has four of them.

Ok, Now I have to tag three people.

Koma.
Deadpool.
J'onn.

Dental for All.

M.O.D.O.K. sucks.